Rite of Passage...are they ready?

Remember when moving out of the house was a "rite of passage?" We stepped, actually lept, out into the world where we worked whatever job we could find. We found a crummy apartment stuffed with roommates just so we could afford the rent. We drove a beater car, lived off macaroni & cheese (Top Ramen & bean burritos my brother reminds me), and didn't mind if our clothes were worn and their was no cable or TV for that matter. Who cared? We were managing it, shabby standards or not, all by ourselves. We had our freedom and it was worth it!

I recently read an article about a property management investor who discoverd their was a huge market in really nice college-age real estate. Young people leaving home felt entitled to not just "any old apartment," but a place complete with pool, indoor gym, social court, and plasma tv on the wall. So he went to work and he built the apartments--thousands of them. We, as parents, came and rented them for our kids--thousands of them. We wanted it "better for them." We wanted them to have "what we never had." And it wasn't just about the college apartment, but other entitlements: the latest techie device, the car at 16, the prettiest prom dress, designer clothing, and the list goes on. But at what cost? Didn't we deprive our children of building valuable character traits? Of problem solving skills? Of the "happiness" and "self-esteem" one can gain from making a "go of it" on their own? Did we forget that it is by failure, pain, and frustration we grow intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually? Now here we are in an economic recession and we need to be asking oursleves if we have taught our children how to be resourceful. With our children facing bigger expenses than we ever faced, resourcefulness and self-reliance is key.

Here are a few ideas for teaching your children to be self-reliant and resourceful:

• Teach them everyday skills--that means household tasks from laundary to budgeting.

An example: we shared the cooking in our household. Each person had one night of the week to plan, grocery shop, and cook the meal; yes, dad was included in the schedule.

• Don't solve your children's problems for them--teach them to sort through the options, see the consequences of each and then live with THEIR choice. Don't take the problem from them!!!
• Make sure they have a job--a job teaches them to work for someone else, and to budget their time and money. They may even find out they don't want to flip burgers for the rest of their life--You mean education is important?!
• Be an example of resourcefulness & resilence; AND be excited about it!
• Learn something new--if your children see that life-long learning is important, they too will keep learning new skills.